peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
