That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize