He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
