I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
