Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
