So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
