Dual....:-)
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
