It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
