my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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