I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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