and you said cock pushups were impossible
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize