So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
