I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
