Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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