and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
