he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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