I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
