I faked an abortion last night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
