Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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