I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
