We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
nutella sex= disaster
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
