Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Rumble strips road head = magical
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
not ubering you a puppy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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