if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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