We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
