can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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