they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize