Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize