I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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