Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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