also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
