We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
