Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
