someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
