I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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