I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
