she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize