I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
