Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize