Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
