why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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