just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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