I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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