Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
