Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
