i jhust puked up my retainher.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
