It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize