After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
