He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
