I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
