I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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