He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
