so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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