Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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