Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
