Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
