Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
