So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize