there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
