Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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