Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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